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twinkletits:

1. Take off that garter-belt-tutu-thing and pay your fuckin’ dues. Lay track, keep score, haul water, stamp hands. There will be a time for semi-nudity and obnoxious self-promotion. And that time is after you’ve actually proven yourself on the track. Teams don’t draft rollergirls. Teams draft…

uncock:

If you can’t think of a present to give to your boyfriend, just give him a blowjob.

me peeing

  • me: shit son
  • me: sHIT
  • me: that water is barely yellow
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: i am hydrated as HELL
  • actionables:

    SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL

    
Love Food? This blog is for you.
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    urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected
    
Marilyn Monroe at the Photoplay Awards, 1954